Why would you read Epic Fantasy, and complain that it’s not realistic enough? It’s like eating cake and complaining it’s low in fiber. This is typical “adult” behavior.
Adults like to read gritty, miserable books filled with deeply flawed, greedy, banal, and above all, mediocre characters they can relate to. This is the life they chose for themselves in exchange for entry into adult society.
Within them all, lies the corpse of the child they once were, who dreamed of magic, and heroes, and talking animals, and innocent beauty.
A hard heart certainly makes survival easier in this world, but is such an existence really worth living? I believe its better to endure the abuse, than to let society wring the delicate magic from your soul.