the delusions of reason

Thinkers tend to spend their lives tripped up and confused, unable to understand that what others really like about them probably has nothing to do with what they seek in others.

They trust only reason, and that’s fine, except that something very unreasonable is guiding the operation all along… in themselves, and in others.

Love is not so far away as you think it might be, particularly if you are one prone to consider the question of your lovability.

And, in fact, even if you trust only reason, the world is awash in the fantasy worlds of the people you seek; you’ve only to look deeply into those worlds to understand.

Yet it still takes a leap of faith, that the mind of another, equal in reasoning ability, can seem to operate so differently from our own.

Or that all those years of introspective thinking still leaves so much uncorrected and confused, even of ourselves.

That you can go away from home in the morning feeling completely robotic, with a heart of concrete and steel, and return with a heart full of painful little butterflies, because you looked into someone’s eyes a few too many times, and the carefully restrained human in you breaks loose and shoves your intellect aside.

But maybe in a way it’s reassuring, when you’re so full of self-doubt, and you’ve run around in your mind so many times that your original track is hopelessly obscured, to know something certain about yourself.

Reason is always uncertain, otherwise it would be faith, and faith is uncomfortable.

But you can know what you feel with absolute certainty.  You can watch all the humanity in yourself come alive, in a way that’s so natural, and so obvious, when it’s around something it feels very strongly about.

No matter how unreasonable it may be, or hopeless it may seem.

Maybe it’s not so hopeless.

And you are definitely not yours to control, because you are reason, and your heart is insane.

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