I dress strange, and my overall appearance is certainly peculiar.
But it’s not exactly that I don’t care; I would certainly like an aesthetically-pleasing, confidence-inspiring appearance, that would put the hearts and minds of those around me(during those unfortunate moments I have no choice but to subject them to me) at ease.
Though I’d prefer to simply be invisible.
However, my time is already heavily over-committed with other things either more important to me, or more interesting. So I dress for maximal functionality and minimal upkeep.
I have to work as a programmer. It really doesn’t matter what I look like for that, as long as I’m not either an HR or a safety hazard. That takes a lot of time and focus.
I am also slowly learning Japanese. That takes a huge amount of time, and I enjoy it quite a bit more than trying to maintain a wardrobe.
I am also maintaining and adding various computer-related skills that are not even in the same category as what I program for work, so that takes additional time and attention.
So I am a little embarrassing to myself. But once I’ve crossed over into “extremely embarrassed”, I dissociate and feel no anxiety whatsoever, so it’s actually more comfortable to be really weird than a little weird.
So, I go for it.
Apologies, in advance…