My life decisions are generally made by normalizing and averaging the typical vector for someone in my position, generating the plane orthogonal to that vector, and then choosing a random vector lying on that plane.
When you do that enough times, you become so strange that people no longer know what you are and aren’t capable of. You can no longer relate to anyone, and they can no longer relate to you.
Now, being hopelessly strange is freedom, and it’s kind of safe, assuming you can find the right job in the right place(which, I suppose, is 90% of safety, anyways).
But it’s lonely.
Of course, when you stay lonely long enough, the pain goes away, and then you become even stranger, because then you can no longer deal with random social situations at all.
Still, I like working.
In Idaho, I always dreamed of having a place where people could just work, and talk about work, and work all the time, and work together on projects. No one really seemed to quite understand.
Fortunately, I don’t have to implement such a place myself, as I discovered later that it already exists, and it is called “Japan”.
I just hope I can find a way to stay here.